Tag Archive: book


Found Wanting


Those of you you who have been following my blogs will know that on Mondays I blog about the books that I am currently writing, the first of which, is called “Found Wanting”, and on Wednesdays I blog about my life, current events, things I enjoy, or new news on my life coaching business etc, anything that gives the reader a little info about who I am and what I’m about, or current events in my life, and Fridays I blog about life coaching/personal development/relationship and psychology related topics, offering free tips and tools to overcome varying circumstances in life. I am about to start a stress management series this Friday. For those of you who are new to my blog, this will give you an idea of which blogs you prefer most to tune into. I am nearing the end of giving excerpts on this book called ‘Found Wanting’ without giving away the entire book! Lol! I will have 2-3 more excerpts on this book, before I move into blogging about another book I am currently working on!

But for today, let me re-cap what the book Found Wanting is about. The title itself is meant to be a play on words, with two separate meanings. The first half of the book is geared to understanding from a christian perspective, what the ‘fall of man’ was about. How independence and mistrust in the heart of God for us led us into a place of isolation and far from the dependency and trust in His good heart toward us and his character wanting nothing more than to lavish goodness and blessing upon us as children dearly loved by a father God figure. As in earlier blogs I mentioned the community of one-ness between the triune God, Father, son, and Holy spirit, who were involved in a community of one-ness and completeness, and full of love. God IS love. It was within the heart of God to extend that invitation for fellowship and relationship to humankind who he created with this purpose and intent in mind: To love us and allow us to experience the love within the community of the Godhead. It was his desire that we reciprocate this love as well. To receive it, to love God and to love others, created in the image of God that all may know this wonderful love of God. But part of love involved the freedom of choice -free will as we call it, to NOT love. If we are not given the choice to NOT love, or NOT receive love, any relationship is reduced to a servitude or control by force which removes the ability to love freely. The only way love can truly exist is with the freedom to not, so that loving becomes a choice and not merely a dictatorship. But because God had an enemy, an angel of God who fell I his vanity and pride, seeking to be greater than God, but lost the battle and was unable to achieve the greatness he sought after, he forever became intent in hurting the heart of God by attacking those God created in his image (us, humanity) and trying to convince us that God’s character and heart for us was not good. The sad reality is, we bought the lie. We’ve been living with that lie at the core of our being, questioning the goodness of God, looking for answer’s on our own and trusting our own ability and strength, rather than trusting him. We became convinced we must look out for ourselves because who else would? We were introduced to the harsh realities of life, and our experience taught us that what God said was a lie. Where was this goodness he spoke of? If God is a good God, why does he allow evil to triumph and pain to exist? On and on the questions go. And the belief system is rooted ever deeper in our hearts that God must not be good, which develops our alternate belief system: I must look after myself. I must protect myself. I must be in control, the very nature of the enemy of God who sought to be greater than God. Arrogance, pride, independence. I will not discuss these questions all over again, as I have discussed them in previous blogs (on Monday’s), but may open a discussion on some of those questions in July when I am finished giving an overview on this book, prior to getting into my next book I am working on.

My intent for today is to evaluate the second interpretation of the title ‘Found Wanting’, which rather than the first definition to be ‘found wanting’ or ‘lacking’ or deficient’ due to sin, rebellion and independence against the God who both created, loves and pursues us, the second interpretation is meant to explore what happens when we come back to that place of believing, and recognizing that God does, indeed have a good heart for us! When we experience that ‘aha’ moment of revelation, that ‘God moment’ as it were, where he arrests our attention, when he stops us dead in our tracks, when the unseen reality of what is unseen invades the natural and we ‘know’ to the very core of our being that we have just ‘met God.’ There are so many ways in which it happens, it can be simple and tender, it can be a vision that brings the awareness of the divine to life for you, it can be a download of so much information, wisdom and knowledge in an instant where you feel your mind has been expanded and enlightened to receive far more information than you know you could possibly take in in that instant without the divine being responsible for it. It could be your whole life flashing before you in an instant, whilst feeling the presence of angels surrounding you wanting to comfort and minister to you while God himself reveals the pain, the hurt, the wounds, the limiting beliefs you have held onto, while his peace and his presence met over you as he begins a work of healing and restoration to your soul. It is that moment when he shows you where he was when that traumatic experience took place and he reassures you of his unconditional love for you, when he reminds you that no matter what you have done or where you have been, he is with you, and he has always loved you, and reminds you that you were created for a purpose, that your life is not merely an accident, but divinely woven together by god, of immeasurable worth, not worth that is conditional in what you do or don’t, but simply because God loves you and gave you worth no matter what. It is innate, God given, because of his passionate heart for you to love and pursue you with the longing of reciprocal love for Him.

So being ‘found wanting’ in the second definition involves remembering that God loves us, and because he first loved us and we get that taste of this love, we suddenly are beside ourselves, found wanting, as in desiring God in return. Why does this happen? Because of the very nature of love. Love is generous and ever expanding, especially the love that God has for us, the unconditional kind that never changes, never ends, is kind and merciful and gracious, and as a result of believing that Jesus took all of our sin upon himself in our place, knowing that there is therefore no more punishment or consequence for sin, because the son of God, part of the triune God, became flesh, became a man, lived a sinless life, died on a cruel cross taking all the sin of the world with him upon the cross so that we might believe in him. That our doubt of God’s goodness might be replaced with the realization of his love, drawing our hearts back to a desire to love God as he has loved us. But belief is the cure for our unbelief. And believing can be hard, especially when the response is so simple:

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For whoever believes in him shall not be disappointed.” Romans 10:9-11

That’s it? That’s all I have to do? And yet, why is it so hard?

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, so that the requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are of the spirit, the things of the spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so… However, you are not in the flesh but in the spirit, if indeed the spirit of God dwells in you… So then, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to it…but if by the spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body (sin), you will live. For all who are being led by the spirit of Gid, these are sons if Hod. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons!” Romans 8:1-15

In the middle of that last passage the clue to why it is so hard to believe is there in the text. “the mind set in the flesh is HOSTILE to god, it DOES NOT SUBJECT (or submit) to God FOR IT IS NOT EVEN ABLE TO. This is the crux of sin nature: hostility towards God, hardness of heart, unbelief, independence from God. It’s root? Believing a lie that the heart of God is not good for us, Believing that God is not real, or believing he doesn’t care, whatever variation of the lie that you have believed… And what happens over time is a hardening of our hearts. At first or may be felt as a tender moment of “where was God when…” fill in the blanks, perhaps tears where shed… You felt alone, abandoned. You questioned his heart, his goodness… And over time, it became a hardened belief system embedded in your deep inner heart that God doesn’t care. The purpose of God sending his son was to show us in a radical way how much he loves us. Who hasn’t heard of the concept of laying your life down for someone you love? In combat, it is done all the time, one man takes a bullet for his buddy, sparing his friend’s life. In just such a manner, this is what God did…Jesus, referred to as God’s son, fully God, fully perfect, became a man and lived a perfect sinless life, and then took the bullet for us so to speak. All that rebellion against God, all our moves away from his love, Jesus took all of our sin and wrongdoing, our pain, our unbelief and gave us a visual of real love: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” This is exactly what Jesus did to say “I love you. My heart for you has always been good. Return to ,e that I may show you my love, that you may receive my love.”

The response to being really loved… Is to love in return. This is God’s desire. That we may know his love, receive it, love him and pass it on to others that they too may know this great unfailing live of God!

This is what it means to be ‘found wanting’ as in desiring God. If you have ever been in love and ache while apart from the one you love, and long to be in their presence as soon as you possibly can, and take in, saturate, breathe in the pleasurable feeling of being loved, you can relate. This experience is possible with God… To be found desiring the nest moment where you get to enjoy the intoxicating presence of love -perfect love from God, the only kind of love that can bind up all your wounds and bring wholeness to your brokenness, comfort to your mourning, completion to your lack of direction, community to your isolation, and much much more! I want to be found wanting and desiring God forever.

Advertisements

So yesterday I took a hiatus from writing for the day… I had an appointment with a specialist re: my back. I’ve been on a waiting list for about eighteen months now! I will likely blog about that on Wednesday with some updates, but as a result, it took much of my day yesterday, with the long wait times, so I decided I would take an unofficial vacation day, and enjoy the rest of the afternoon with my husband, who also took the day off work to come to my appointment with me.

So I’m catching up today. I am blogging today what I was supposed to write about yesterday…God’s unconditional love, and what that involves. I will be quoting myself from something I wrote over 2 years ago when I first began to have a revelation of why the ‘good news’ that is talked about in the new testament is such ‘good news!’ I have been in church my whole life and didn’t quite understand how to grasp the message of grace. I admit, I am still a work in progress at understanding this important principle. The revelations I am about to share became the ‘Aha!’ moment of discovering the content of the book I am writing, called “Found Wanting”.

Here is what I came to understand:

“no one has beheld God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12

“And we have come to know and have believed the love which aged has for us. God IS love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1 John 4:16

“By this, love is perfected in us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:17-19.

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” 1 John 5:3

So let’s begin to unpack the above verses a little. Let’s start by getting a fuller understanding from the original Greek that the new testament was written in, and translate more fully the words “abide”, “judgment”, and “punishment” from the passages I just quoted.

Meno- to remain, to dwell, abide, to persevere, to stand firm, to remain alive, to wait for, to remain under, be patient, patient towards things and circumstances, long suffering, or patience toward people.

Krisis- judgment, a separation, judgment, final sentence, the final judgment, to pass judgment, judgment of condemnation, the cause or ground of condemnation or punishment.

Kolasis- punishment, to punish, torment.

Now part of this good news of the gospel of grace that Jesus spoke of involves this:

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are IN Christ.” Romans 8:1

What does condemnation mean?

Katakrima, condemnation – to divide, to separate, judge, to be decided against anyone, a condemnatory judgment.

When we love one another, which we will define soon), God abides in us and He perfects love in us (for Him and each other). Two verses come to mind that I will briefly reference concerning the love for God and each other.”love the lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself.” and “Love if the fulfillment of the law.” When we abide in God’s love, loving each other, and Him, God not only abides in us, but this is HOW love is perfected in us. Why does it matter if this love abides in us? Because it gives us confidence in the day of judgment. God’s love casts out the fear of judgment and punishment. Why? Because Jesus Christ took our punishment on Himself, therefore we are no longer condemned. There is now NO condemnation (the result of judgment) for those who are abiding in Christ. If I am IN Christ Jesus, I am abiding IN him.

Jesus uses an analogy that says of himself that He is the vine and His father is the gardener. He goes on to say:

“Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, he takes away and every branch that bears fruit, he prunes it so that it may bear fruit…Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up, and they gather them and throw them into the fire and they are burned.”

This last verse deals with the consequences of not abiding in the vine. The life that comes from abiding is not there and the branch dries up and dies.

Jesus goes on to say, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be done for you. By this is my Father glorified that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples. Just as the Father has loved you, I have also loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you that my joy be in you and that your joy may be made full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” John 15:7-14

Those of you reading this that do not yet understand the love of God may read the above passages by suggesting that God is a demanding, punitive God, who punishes those who don’t abide in Him, and that he commands obedience, without question. Yet, we forget, this same God created each one of us with free will to make up our own minds. He does not dictate that we MUST follow Him, for he knows that love cannot exist in an environment of force, so instead, he places himself in a vulnerable position, the God who loves us and longs for our love in return, humbly gives us free choice to reject and neglect him and to NOT love him. He is communicating here, merely that abundant, full life comes only by abiding in his love, because only his love is perfect. How well we see this modeled in our lives. When we carry resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness in our hearts, it acts as a poison that kills and destroys our ability to dwell in absolute love. When we have been hurt by other’s imperfect love, and we dwell in fear of being harmed again, we still wrestle with understanding the love that comes from abiding in God’s love, which heals, and enables us to rise above our own human nature that wants to stay wounded, angry and justified to judge and punish those we’ve been burned by, and instead, rise above that, and sit comfortably, resting in the knowledge that God’s love is perfect and does not fail, will not damage our self-esteem, and instead, heals us, enabling us to then love others as he does, because if we are loved perfectly, then love heals us to love more perfectly than we can on our own.

Abiding in perfect love (God) keeps punishment and the consequences of punishment away from us. Because God’s love casts out the fear of punishment. The hint of why perfect love casts out fear of punishment is in this verse: “greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus laid his life down for us, taking our punishment on himself.

“We know love by this, that He laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our friends. For whoever has the world’s good and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in Him? Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-18

“Since you have in obedience to the truth, purified your souls for a sincere love for each other, fervently, (deeply) love one another from the heart, for you have been born again, not of seed which perishes, but imperishable, that is, through the living and abiding Word of God.” 1 Peter 1:22,23.
(in this reference, the ‘word of God’ here, is not referring to the new testament as it was not yet written. Jesus himself often references himself as ‘The Word of God’. So again we see that concept of abiding in Jesus for a freedom we have not yet unpacked.)

So what does this love look like? How do we lay down our lives for others?

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, let each of you regard one another as more important than himself, do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of other’s. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 2:1-13

Stay tuned next week Monday, for part 2 of this blog. I really thought I would have enough time to get it all in today… But there is so much to say of, and learn of the love of God, to really begin to appropriate it, yet alone understand, take in and receive. His love is so massive, it truly is inconceivable. Almost too hard to believe, too good to be true… And yet it is. He loves us and pursues us like none other, and His love for us never fails, never ends, never quits. His love is big enough to even let us walk away from him if we don’t want to receive his love. It breaks his heart, but he respects our free will. And he will not break that promise!


At the end of the last chapter we find God, alone, on a mission to redeem mankind from the terrible isolation experienced by man at the loss of the most intimate of connections with their divine maker. Alone.

Separated by sin, or the loss of dependence upon God, through misfortune and the terrible lie that penetrated deep within their hearts “God is not good”, mankind assumes and becomes convinced in his mind that God has betrayed them. Not giving God the opportunity to respond, they make their assumptions, believe the lie, and turn away from the God who delivers.

Now, because God is zealous for his people, He already has a plan up his sleeve! But he must somehow prepare his people for his salvation plan!

And so enters the law. The law of God that is. According to the new testament, the purpose of creating the law established in the Old testament, was this:
“therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death though sin, and so death spread to all men, for all had sinned. For until the Law, sin was in the world, but sin was not imputed when there is no law.” Romans 5:12-13. According to the above scripture, the law was set in place by God to set the holy standard of how to live and treat each other, and was used as a tool to show mankind how far away he had slipped from the intimacy of relationship with God.

It was never meant or intended for us to fulfill and become perfect at all the laws and standards he
put in place. Without a moral compass, we don’t know the difference between what is good and what is not good. We simply do as we see fit. And such was the case. The ten commandments were a standard of how we are to take responsibility for ourselves, and how we relate to God and others.

Before God gave Moses the law on Mt. Sinai, we could not determine what was considered sin and what was not, so we needed the law to use as a guideline to living a moral life.
But what happened instead is that it triggered within us an urge to sin, to do what we were told we ought not to do. It also appealed to the other sinful side of nature, for those of us who did want to be in relationship with God, we taught ourselves to perform to the best of our abilities to fulfill God’s laws, and through our performance, we thought somehow, God will be pleased.

In Romans 3:10-18, we see that there is no one righteous, no one who understands, no one who seeks for God. in Romans 11:32 we find that all men are shut up in disobedience, that God might show mercy to us all. We see in Ecclesiastes 7:20, again, that there is no one righteous, who continually does good, and never sins.

and so it is that The Lord “looked and was displeased that there was no justice, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene, so his own arm achieved salvation for him” (Isaiah 59:15-16). God was on the move! He was devising his perfect salvation plan. God was using the law as part of his plan, but it was not the end result he had in mind. But without the law set in place, “I would not have known about coveting, if the law had not said, ‘do not covet’, but sin, taking the opportunity through the commandment, produced in me coveting of every kind; for apart from the law sin is dead. And I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin became alive, and I died. And this commandment, which was to result in life, proved to result in death for me, for sin, taking opportunity through the commandment, deceived me, and through it killed me. So then, the law is holy and righteous and good. Did that which is good for me become a cause of death for me? May it never be! Rather it was sin, in order that it might be shown to be sin by effecting my death through that which is good, that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful. For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage of sin.” (Romans 7:7-14).

Being sold into bondage to sin was not a part of God’s plan, because it was for freedom he has come to set us free from slavery to anything. This is why God needed to bring a salvation plan to us by his own hand, for none of us were free.

“Just as through one man, (Adam) sin entered the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned…” So God would bring about salvation through one man as well.

The air is thick with anticipation awaiting the redemption plan to unfold. Until the right moment, we hang in the balance for the savior of mankind to be revealed…


Last week I started this two part series on God’s grief and love for us. This is the part two of last weeks’s blog. Another excerpt from the book I’m writing.

” ‘For God has shut up all in disobedience that He might show mercy to all.” Romans 11:32

God intends to show us mercy. God has envisioned a plan for our redemption. But before we see this plan unfold, we must take a painful look at God’s side of the story. The anguish and grief, the sorrow and anger that burns within him at our wayward condition, and his desperation to renew a right standing between God and mankind once again.

Let’s take a look at a few more passages so that we have a fuller understanding of this love story unfolding, a love story with a wounded lover, who has lost his wife to her unfaithfulness towards him.

“I remember concerning you the devotion of your youth, the love of your betrothals, your following after me in the wilderness, through a land not sown… what injustice did your fathers find in me, that they went far from me and walked after emptiness and became empty?…Has a nation changed gods when they were not gods? But my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, o heavens, at this, and shudder, be very desolate, declares the Lord, for my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water… you are a swift she-camel running here and there sniffing the wind in her craving – in her heat, who can restrain her? Should I not punish them for this? Should I not avenge myself?” Jeremiah 2:2,5,11-13, 23; 5:9

And again the Lord expresses his frustration:

“You have made your bed on a high and lofty hill, there you went to offer your sacrifices. Behind your doors and doorposts you have put your pagan symbols. Forsaking me, you uncovered your bed, you climbed into it and opened it wide and made a pact with those whose beds you love, and you looked with lust on their naked bodies.” Isaiah 57:7-8

“This is your lot, the portion measured to you from me, declares the Lord, because you have forgotten me and trusted in falsehood. So I myself have also stripped your skirts off over your face, that your shame may be seen. As for your adulteries, and your lustful neighing, the lewdness of your prostitution, on the hills in the field, I have seen your abominations…How long will you remain unclean?” Jer. 13:25-27

Perhaps the most passionate look at how God feels at our idolatry and turning away from him is found in Ezekiel 16:4-26:

“As for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water for cleansing, you were not rubbed with salt or even wrapped in cloths. No eye looked with pity on you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you. Rather you were thrown out into the open field, for you were abhorred on the day you were born. When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’… I made you numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare. Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold you were at the time for love; so I spread my skirt over you and covered your nakedness. I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that became mine, declares the Lord God. Then I bathed you with water, washed off your blood from you, and anointed you with oil. I also clothed you with embroidered cloth, and put sandals on your feet; and I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your hands and a necklace around your neck. I also put a ring in your nostril, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown upon your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your dres was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey, and oil, so you were exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. Then your fame went forth from among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of my splendor which I bestowed upon you, declares the lord. But you trusted in your beauty and you played the harlot because of your fame, and you poured out your harlotries on every passer-by who might be willing. And you took some of your clothes, made for yourself high places of various colors, and played the harlot on them, which should never come about nor happen. You also took your beautiful jewels made of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself male images that might play the harlot with them. Then you took your embroidered cloth and covered them, and offered my oil and my incense before them. Also, my bread which I gave for you, fine flour, oil and honey, with which I fed you and you would offer before them for a soothing aroma; so it happened, declares the lord. Moreover, you took your sons and daughters whom you had borne to me, and you sacrificed them to idols to be devoured. Were your harlotries so small a matter? You slaughtered my children and offered them up to idols by causing them to pass through the fire. And besides all of your abominations, and harlotries, you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare and squirming in your blood. Then it came about after all your wickedness, that you built yourself a shrine and made yourself a high place in every square. You built yourself a high place at the top of every street and made your beauty abominable, and you spread your legs to every passer by to multiply your harlotry… to make me angry.”

In his anger, he rose up a prophet to experience what He himself experienced concerning our waywardness. The prophet Hosea. The Lord instructed Hosea to marry a prostitute and bring her into his home. Hosea experienced this same rejection as his wife left him after bearing two sons for him, and returned to her harlotry. The Lord instructed Hosea to go after his wife, and bring her back to live with him again, as the Lord has done repeatedly for us, pursuing us each time we are wayward and run off to serve lesser gods, the idols in our lives that replace him in our hearts.

Let’s listen to a little of the imagery once again, of God’s anger and his plan and intention to woo his wayward bride back to himself:

“Contend with your mother, contend, For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. And let her put her harlotry away from her face, and her adultery from between her breasts, lest I strip her naked and expose her as on the day when she was born. I will also make her like a wilderness, make her like desert land, and slay her with thirst. Also I will have no compassion on her children, because they are children of harlotry. For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them acted shamefully. For she said, “I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.’ Therefore, behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. And she will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now… therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her… and she will sing there as in the days of her youth…and it will come about in that day, declares the Lord, that she will call me Ishi (husband) and will no longer call me baali (master).”

Hosea 2:2-7, 14, 16

Despite all of this painful imagery of a lover who has lost his loved one to her adulterous behavior in walking away from a beautiful relationship with her beloved, we hear him saying things such as this:

“Return to me, and I will return to you. Yet you have said harsh things about me. You have said, ‘there’s no pay off in this relationship. It’s not worth loving God.”

We also hear him say, ‘return faithless sons, and I will heal your faithlessness.” Jer. 3:22

“for I the lord, do not change… return to me, and I will return to you.” Malachi 3:6,7

“For I will not contend forever, neither will I always be angry, for their spirit would grow faint before me, and the breath of those whom I have made.” Isaiah 58:16

And again; “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

We see a God desperately in pursuit of redeeming a lost relationship, and willing to relent on his anger, seeking to find a way to close the ever widening gap between man and God. But do we see what is going on beneath the surface? Behind the scenes, there is a war going on. This same serpent, the devil, who we were introduced to in the preceding chapter, is on a mission… to woo our hearts away from the Living God. He is the one enticing us into our harlotries, by deceiving us and telling us that what he has to offer is better than what God would offer. We are still under his spell, the one that questions the goodness of the heart of God, which draws us away to lesser loves, and independence, and confidence in our own strengths and abilities. All the while, the real story happening here, is that this enemy is merely playing with us, like the pieces on a chessboard, discarding us when he no longer has need of us, all in the attempt to break the heart of God, because he lost the battle, because he could not overpower God. And we are blissfully unaware of this ongoing assault of the heart of God, nor are we aware of our part in breaking God’s heart. Until now.

At this point, in the divine timeline of a grand narrative underway, God is alone, on a mission to pursue a way to bring us back to his heart, to trust that his heart toward us is good, once again.

But there is hope coming:

“We hope for justice, but there is none, for salvation but it is far from us. For our transgressions have multiplied before thee, and our sins testify against us. We know our iniquities, denying the Lord, and turning away from our God… Now the Lord saw and it was displeasing in his sight that there was no justice. And he saw that there was no man and astonished that there was no one to intercede…then his own arm brought salvation.” Isaiah 59:11-13,15,16

And there we have it, in the midst of a situation that looked hopeless, a people shut up in disobedience, unable to even turn to God on their own efforts, we hear the vague sound of a plan unfolding in the heavens… the sound of hope: ‘then his own arm brought salvation.’

As a result of this plan of salvation unfolding to restore mankind to right relationship with their god, we can foreshadow what this salvation would bring: the ability for God to say this to us and forever end the wrath of God toward his creation, because salvation would come in such an extraordinary way. When salvation would come, He would say to us once and for all:

“Their sins and lawless deeds I will remember no more” Hebrews 10:17″


“Here we are, in a desperate state of isolated independence from God, a loss of the relationship and perfect community designed by God. Now, we are living in the age of the fall, the era of mistrust, aloneness, pride, independence, fear, rejection, the pursuit to make a name for oneself, and the list goes on…to somehow deaden the blow of what is felt internally – bankruptcy of enormous proportions, a bankruptcy of the soul. Adam and Eve felt it immediately. Something had changed. They’d been ripped off. And they KNEW it. The eyes of their heart had been opened, and they understood that they had been deceived. They understood that the former intimacy had been robbed from them. Or so they thought. They understood that this knowledge was backfiring somehow. They thought they would be like God, but what had happened is that they had cut themselves off from the former enjoyment with God. But I doubt they fully understood why.
We are blessed that we have the story from beginning to end written out for us in the bible, but even in that, our eyes can remain blinded by deception for a lifetime, that we cannot see, nor understand this grand narrative that I am attempting to describe. (2 Cor. 14-18). Even as Christians it can take us years to finally figure out just how ‘deep the rabbit hole goes’ so to speak, in understanding the human condition, our spiritual bankruptcy, our fallen condition.

We touched on the wrath of God in the last chapter, arising out of a jealous love to protect the ones he loves, and are about to explore a little of God’s frustration, hurt, sense of betrayal and even anger, as he pours out his heart to the ones who have fallen away from him, all the while in a desperate pursuit to win back the heart of the one he loves, as he frequently refers to as his bride, in both the old and the new testament.

You see, our fallen human condition was not merely Adam and Eve alone in this fallen state, but every son and daughter since, has inherited this dreadful condition. As with all things, as a result of the fall, the condition atrophies, it worsens over time. It may have been a simple act of disobedience in the garden of Eden that day, but very soon after, we learn of a murder arising out of the condition of jealousy, among the children of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel. And the more you progress in reading the old testament, the greater the atrocities of our sinful human condition emerge. You see King David taking another man’s wife as his own, and having her husband murdered, you see him refuse to do anything for his daughter who was raped, arising an outpouring of wrath among one of his sons adamant for justice, taking justice in his own hands and murdering the one who raped his sister. You see human sacrifices as the people God loved turned away from God and sought other gods and became obedient to the practices of child sacrifices to appease the gods they chose to serve, something that was abominable to the one true God. On and on it goes, the depravity of the human condition, unleashed as man takes matters into his own hands. In our day we see it too, the corruption in our governments, the pursuit of power at the expense of others, the lack of peace in Israel. War and terrorism becoming a real part of our world, and holocausts, killing off whole races of people because one race sees themselves as more superior than another. White supremacy, bringing other races into slavery and abuses of extreme conditions. Human trafficking – the lack of respect for the dignity of human life. Nuclear threats, you name it, not to mention the murders that take place in our own time, due to jealous rage, or racism, or whatever the root cause may be… it all comes back to our sinful, inward condition of waywardness from the intentions God desired for us. It is the result of our falling away from a real and living God who loves us. In our independence, we thought our own human effort was good enough to resolve the condition of the world, ignorant and unaware that coming from a place of fallenness, could not possibly result in a perfect solution.

And so we come to see the grief of God, and his anger at the atrocities he sees in the world.
We first see this great grief expressed in Genesis 6:5: “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.” In his anger, he said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land… for I am very sorry that I have made them.” This is the cry of a broken heart. For those of you who know the rest of the story, God found a man who was righteous before God, Noah, whom God chose to be the man whom he would rebuild the human race with, after he chose to flood the earth in an attempt to rid the earth of the violence of mankind. When all was said and done, God was again grieved and his anger subsided and he vowed he would never again destroy the whole earth by giving us the sign of the rainbow. But then again… some time later, wickedness arose so desperately in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, that the outcry of their evil deeds arose to God’s attention. He decided to wipe out the whole city. But Abraham interceded to God to spare the city, as he bartered with God from 50 men who were found to be righteous, down to 10. In the end, not 10 were even found righteous, and God allowed the city to burn up in smoke, after allowing the few people in the city who still feared God to flee for their safety.

It is difficult for us to look at these stories and see that God is a loving God that cares for us. When we see his wrath and his anger, we once again, from our fallen condition, reject him still further and wander farther off from him, not seeing his side of the story, his broken heart. His grief at our waywardness. His desire for a community of unity, rather than one that breeds hatred, isolation, and cruelty.

Let us take a closer look at how he feels toward us, this jilted lover, who is broken up over our wandering away from the love and fellowship he desired to share with us.
Listen to his heart:
“I long to be gracious to you. You are precious and honored in my sight, because I love you.”
“From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him” Psalm 103:17
“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you. Therefore he will rise to show you compassion. For the lord is a god of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:18
“Love each other, as I have loved you.” John 15:12
“For God so loved the world…” John 3:16a
“As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so your God will rejoice over you.” Isaiah 62:5
“The Lord God is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love and truth, who keeps his lovingkindness for thousands, and forgives iniquity, transgression and sin. Yet he will by no means leave the guilty unpunished…”
“I have loved you, says the Lord, but you say, “how hast thou loved us?” Malachi 1:2a

Here we see a developing theme of his great unshakeable love for us. But we also see He is equally a God of justice. We complain ever so readily when we feel that God has been unjust, and yet, every time he displays his acts of justice, we assume that he is cruel and lacks mercy. Exactly like this last quote we just read out of Malachi, where the Lord is speaking to us telling us that he has loved us, but complains that we say back to him, ‘how have you loved us?’ because we cannot believe. We are all locked in this state of blindness and hostility toward God, that we cannot turn to him even if we will it, by our own might. “because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God, and it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh, cannot please God.” Romans 8:7,8.

God intends to show us mercy. God has envisioned a plan for our redemption. But before we see this plan unfold, we must take a painful look at God’s side of the story. The anguish and grief, the sorrow and anger that burns within him at our wayward condition, and his desperation to renew a right standing between God and mankind once again.”

The above is an excerpt from the book I’m writing, called Found Wanting. I think I will leave it there for now.

Next Monday, I will try and attempt to unpack how desperately God loves and longs and yearns for relationship with us.

On Purpose


“So what are we doing here? Why are we here? What is our purpose in life? Is there a purpose, or are we all just floundering around trying to make our own way in this world? What is our destiny? Do we have one? Why do we so often find that we are working hard at achieving something out of life, only to reach a goal and feel less fulfilled than we expected to feel once we achieve it? You might be focused on your career. You’ve done the years in university to pursue a path in life you thought you were passionate about only to find yourself working in a field completely separate from your original intention. How did that happen? Or maybe you ARE working in your field of expertise and you are climbing the corporate ladder hoping to get ahead, or get a bigger raise, to buy a bigger house, or another new luxury car… you may be working toward retirement, putting everything you earn into savings, so you can live easy when you retire. Maybe your hope is in romance. Find the right guy, live happily ever after, right? But what happens when you reach those goals and you become disenchanted? You work hard so you can provide the best conveniences for your family, only to find that you never have time to spend with them. Suddenly your kids are grown and moved away and you wonder how you missed out on all those years. Maybe you’ve saved your fortune for your retirement years, but now you’re there, and find you’re too sick, or too frail to do all the things you promised yourself you would ‘do later’ and later never came, and now it feels like it’s too late. What happens after the honeymoon when the real work of marriage settles in and ‘happily ever after’ is a lot harder to maintain than in the fairy tales? How quickly we get pulled into the dreams and goals our culture tells us we should pursue. “Do this, and you will find happiness.” “Follow this path and you will find success, and finally feel like you are ‘good enough’ or ‘important enough’, or better than someone else.” “Entertainment, and leisure – these are the things you want.” “This is what life is about.” But these messages are subtle. They are never so bold, but they do lure us into living a life that is less than what was originally intended. And they are good slave drivers too. They suck us in so well, that we hardly realize we ‘bought into’ the idea of success, or romance as the be all and end all of life as it was meant to be. It is only when we reach the place of disenchantment with these lesser loves, the ‘fillers’ that consume our time and attention, that we begin to ask the questions again: why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Where do I find meaning in my life? What am I meant to do? Where is the love I’ve been searching for my whole life that mysteriously keeps eluding me? It is only then when our soul’s deepest needs and desires resurface pointing us in a direction to search out a better way, to find a more substantial meaning or purpose to our otherwise meaningless life.

“Each one of us hides an awful secret. Buried deep within every human soul throbs a muted pain that never goes away. It is a lifelong yearning for that one love that will never be found, the languishing in our inner selves for an all-consuming intensity of intimacy that we know will never be fulfilled, a heart-need to surrender all that we are to a bond that will never fail. The silent churning at the core of our being is the tormenting need to know and to be known, to understand and to be understood, to possess and to be possessed, to belong unconditionally and forever without the fear of loss, betrayal or rejection. It is the nostalgia for our primal oneness, the silent sorrowing for paradise lost, the age-long pursuit after the encompassing embrace for which we were created…it is the distant echo of the wail in the garden at the loss of innocence, of the grieving after a remembrance of shared freedom…the embrace of absolute oneness.” –Gilbert Bilezekian (community 101).

But along with this cry for intimacy and unconditional acceptance, we also feel a need to ‘do’ something with our life, our time, our talents, our energy. We sense somewhere in the deep recesses of our being that we need purpose, direction, meaning, to contribute our strength and initiative to something. Without it, we lack purpose, and where there is no purpose, the people perish. It seems like, in order to feel like our life has been lived ‘fully’, we require meaning, belief in something, to use our reason & imagination, to contribute… we have dreams, and a sense of destiny, ambition, we require hope, and significance, on top of this need to attach and connect and find intimate relationships to enjoy. It’s built in. Without it, we wind up depressed and floundering about life wondering what it’s all about. If we don’t catch this vision, we end up living some kind of sub-existence. We just go about our every day life with a sense of drudgery or dutiful response to whatever we feel is our cruel task master.

This cry within us, this need for meaning, this loss of paradise, where did it originate? Deep inside, we know it is true. Even if we don’t think we remember what paradise was supposed to look like, our heart speaks of it in short whispers in the night… hunger. Ache. Something’s missing. Can I propose a suggestion here, that maybe, just maybe there is more to life than all of this? That there IS a specific design, task, role, purpose, for each of us here on this earth.

What is that design?

“Then God said, “let us make man in our own image, according to our own likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ And God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. And God blessed them and said to them, ‘be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and rule over…everything that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28”

The preceding text is from my book “Found Wanting”.

Just some food for thought. What is YOUR purpose? What do you believe our mandate is & responsibility-to each other, to the earth, to the environment, to nature? The animals? What is your calling? What role do you play in a grand narrative? Like a giant puzzle, we each play our part & possess the talents & gifts we do for a reason. Have you thought about that much? I encourage you to spend some time today thinking about what you feel your role or calling, or purpose is in this life. Is it one thing? Are there many roles you play? Think about it! Cheers!

God’s Original Design


On Monday’s I blog about the book I am currently writing called “Found Wanting”. Today, I am simply going to post from my book about God’s original design for mankind, the desire in his heart for a community of relationship between us and God, as well as with each other. Keep in mind, this is just a small excerpt about what God’s original purpose for us was, prior to what Christians deem, ‘the fall of man’ when sin affected and corrupted God’s original plan. The belief is that in order for God to create us with the ability to love, he had to create us with the freedom to not love, which opened the door for rebellion, hatred, independence and unbelief, all key ingredients of what christians call ‘sin’. For those reading who are not of the Christian faith, keep in mind that this book is geared for those who are Christian, so if you have any questions for me, by all means contact me and ask! Here is an excerpt from an early draft of my book:

Made in God’s image, a brief look at the triune God

“God is presented in the bible as a tri-unity of entities existing as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, a community of ‘one-ness’ that we refer to in the Christian world as ‘the trinity’. The Evangelical Theological society describes the Godhead as the ‘original community of
one-ness in a single sentence: “God is a trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each an uncreated person, one in essence, equal in power and glory.” Each member of the trinity participates in the creation of, as well as the grand design for mankind. The Father is the originator, the son is the revealer and the spirit is the one who completes the work. And what is the work? To build a community of one-ness like the one that the trinity shares. There is a unity that is shared among the trinity that we must explore to understand.

Throughout all eternity, God is Father, Son and Spirit bound together in a dynamic relationship that unites the triune God. What is that bond? The discovery of that is the key to understanding what God thinks of us.

God is love. “The unity of God is nothing less than each of the Trinitarian persons giving himself to the others. This unity is the dedication of each to the others. The Father loves the son, and the son reciprocates that love. This love is the Holy spirit, who is the spirit of the relationship of the father and son.” (–Created for Community, Stanley Grenz)

Augustine wrote, “If God is love, then there must be in Him a lover, a beloved and a spirit of love, for no love is conceivable without a lover and a beloved.” Frank Viola suggests that ‘pulsating within the centre of the godhead was the very essence of deity, a passionate love.”

God lavished his goodness upon all of the earth and the creatures on the earth in his work of creation. But immediately after creating the man Adam, he saw that the man was alone. Everything else in creation had its counterpart, but man was solitary. Everything else God created he said “it is good,” after he spoke it into being. But not with man. The first thing he does is say “It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18) Why? Because God had enjoyed the intimacy of a community of love in the trinity, he immediately saw that Adam’s alone-ness was not good. His design was to create a community to share in the love expressed in the trinity… because the nature of true love is to be generous, to reach out beyond ourselves and to embrace others and pull them into the circle of love so that others may experience the intimacy that comes from being loved. So too, God, who is love, desired to lavish his love upon us, and allow us to experience the love and unity that the Godhead has shared for all of eternity. Because God is community, he creates community. It is his gift of himself to humans.

Created in His Image

What does it mean when God tells us that we are ‘created in his image?’ I believe this means that we reflect who He is, the attributes that are a part of His divine nature. His creativity, His love, His passion, His ability to rule, His authority, His intelligence, His beauty. And many other details that we can take the time to observe in the things which He has created to get a glimpse of who He is, and what He is about. It also speaks of His goal or design for us, about the connection we have with him, our identity as connected to him.
God envisioned that mankind would model his creativity, and share the love he poured out on us that we would experience by knowing we were unconditionally accepted by God. We were to demonstrate his loving Father’s heart for us, to our families. He created us to be ambassadors, in a sense, taking what we have learned of his image, his character, his desire for mankind, and to represent him here on earth, in our relationships, in the varying roles we occupy throughout our lifetime. As we care for the earth and the creatures in it, we were made to model Him, and His ways, his ideas on earth.
Being in the divine image involves living in the grace of the creator, a special relationship with God, unique, above the animals, and plant life on the earth, we enjoy a special worth in his sight, receiving a special love. It involves a purpose and a future (Jer. 29:11). This being made in his image also involves a design he created, to enjoy rich fellowship and community with him, our families, our world and the body of Christ. He created us for community with each other.

Made for God

And so begins our journey of discovering God’s original design. God made us and designed us to be in intimate relationship with him. To enjoy the extension of the unity and love expressed within the members of the triune God. And so we see the first glimpse of the passion of a God who loves us completely. Let’s take a minute to look at a common definition of the word passion: “a strong and barely containable emotion, a state or outburst of such emotion, an intense desire or enthusiasm for something,’ and some common synonyms to describe the emotions of passion: rage, ardour, anger, love.”

There is much more to speak of God’s love and the purposes he created for us, but I will leave you with this passage from the new testament concerning the evidence God created for us to see and know and understand that we are not here by accident, but there is in fact a loving God who designed the world, and each human being uniquely and with purpose, and the sad effect that sin had on that original plan:

“That which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being, and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity…For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the created, rather than the Creator.” Romans 1:18-25.

Choosing My audience


So I decided who my audience for my book will be with great reluctance. I so desperately wanted to be able to write both to a Christian and an unchurched audience, but was informed the marketing would be difficult and far too expensive for those interested in publishing my book as it would cost twice as much to market to both audiences. So I decided with apprehension, to market my book towards a Christian audience. But as I’ve thought about it, it makes sense, considering I have been a very disillusioned Christian for quite some time, seeing the great and vast divide between those who are Christians and those who know little at all about what being a Christian is about. I have a heart to see the divide and segregation diminish. Christians, by and large have become ‘out of touch’ with our world and it’s culture. It is time that Christians not only understand the culture in which they live, but to reach out in relevant ways to engage the brokenness in our world with the love of God which heals like nothing else can. Please hear me clearly when I speak of brokenness. I’m talking about those who have been impacted negatively by abuse, abandonment, rejection, addictions-directly or indirectly, broken families, broken hearts, who have had to cope with hardness around them by hardening their own hearts to self protect against hostility and evil.
I so desperately want to share God’s love with a hurting world.

But I fear that the church has done more damage than the good we are called to do in reaching out with love to those who are broken and in need. I feel strongly that the church needs a re-introduction to a God of love, truth, mercy and justice and lay down hearts of judgment towards those who have been damaged by the harshness of life, and rather embrace compassion and a message of grace and truth and love. We are living in the effects of the fall of God’s original design. We live in the era of sin and hardness, and independence and selfishness, which breeds evil towards each other when left without understanding of what the love of God can do to heal the broken, bind up our wounds, and bring joy to sorrow.

I want to expose the errors that exist within the current church system, the religious views that bring judgement and condemnation to those who need grace, forgiveness and love. The church needs to hear the message of the gospel again & again: For God so loved the world, that he sent his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. -John 3:16.

So with great hesitation, I decided it was time for christians to hear the message of the gospel of good news that God intended to bring to all people, regardless or religion or race, or sexual orientation, or other biases most commonly held. The reality is, God loves us all and has good news of the most unconditional love we will ever know. And a grace beyond our wildest imagination. I want to see a revolution in the church to know, to really know, what the love of God looks like and how He draws hearts to himself.

I will blog on wednesday about some of the issues those who are unchurched generally have against the church as it currently exists. It will kind of be a part two to this blog. Not enough time to get it all in one blog!

In the meantime, today I will share a few quotes from my book that will likely NOT be in the finished book, directed towards those who are unchurched, as I very much have a heart to see people know a God who loves them, simply because His love has profoundly changed my life and brings me peace, healing and restoration from my own brokenness. Because we all go through it, churched or unchurched. Christian or not. The rain falls on all of us, no matter what. Christians are no more perfect than anyone else. Anyone who tells you this is not being truthful with themselves. But God comes to bring hope to all of us, and offers a freedom we cannot understand until we experience it first hand. It is hard to know what something feels like when we haven’t experienced it.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that everyone who does not consider themselves to be a Christian, automatically feels like they are broken or empty or missing out on something. Sometimes this is not the case. I know lots of people who consider themselves happy who have not known God. I am directing this message today to those who ARE feeling hopeless about life and feel like everything is falling apart around you. And to let you know that God comes to offer hope and peace and healing.

Here Is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of my book which will not make it to the final cut, as it is more directed to those who are searching for meaning in life and wondering where to find it.

Enjoy:

“So what are we doing here? Why are we here? What is our purpose in life? Is there a purpose, or are we all just floundering around trying to make our own way in this world? What is our destiny? Do we have one? Why do we so often find that we are working hard at achieving something out of life, only to reach a goal and feel less fulfilled than we expected to feel once we achieve it? You might be focused on your career. You’ve done the years in university to pursue a path in life you thought you were passionate about only to find yourself working in a field completely separate from your original intention. How did that happen? Or maybe you ARE working in your field of expertise and you are climbing the corporate ladder hoping to get ahead, or get a bigger raise, to buy a bigger house, or another new luxury car… you may be working toward retirement, putting everything you earn into savings, so you can live easy when you retire. Maybe your hope is in romance. Find the right guy, live happily ever after, right? But what happens when you reach those goals and you become disenchanted? You work hard so you can provide the best conveniences for your family, only to find that you never have time to spend with them. Suddenly your kids are grown and moved away and you wonder how you missed out on all those years. Maybe you’ve saved your fortune for your retirement years, but now you’re there, and find you’re too sick, or too frail to do all the things you promised yourself you would ‘do later’ and later never came, and now it feels like it’s too late. What happens after the honeymoon when the real work of marriage settles in and ‘happily ever after’ is a lot harder to maintain than in the fairy tales? How quickly we get pulled into the dreams and goals our culture tells us we should pursue. “Do this, and you will find happiness.” “Follow this path and you will find success, and finally feel like you are ‘good enough’ or ‘important enough’, or better than someone else.” “Entertainment, and leisure – these are the things you want.” “This is what life is about.” But these messages are subtle. They are never so bold, but they do lure us into living a life that is less than what was originally intended. And they are good slave drivers too. They suck us in so well that we hardly realize we ‘bought into’ the idea of success, or romance as the be all and end all of life as it was meant to be. It is only when we reach the place of disenchantment with these lesser loves, the ‘fillers’ that consume our time and attention, that we begin to ask the questions again: why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Where do I find meaning in my life? What am I meant to do? Where is the love I’ve been searching for my whole life that mysteriously keeps eluding me? It is only then when our soul’s deepest needs and desires resurface pointing us in a direction to search out a better way, to find a more substantial meaning or purpose to our otherwise meaningless life.

“Each one of us hides an awful secret. Buried deep within every human soul throbs a muted pain that never goes away. It is a lifelong yearning for that one love that will never be found, the languishing in our inner selves for an all-consuming intensity of intimacy that we know will never be fulfilled, a heart-need to surrender all that we are to a bond that will never fail. The silent churning at the core of our being is the tormenting need to know and to be known, to understand and to be understood, to possess and to be possessed, to belong unconditionally and forever without the fear of loss, betrayal or rejection. It is the nostalgia for our primal oneness, the silent sorrowing for paradise lost, the age-long pursuit after the encompassing embrace for which we were created…it is the distant echo of the wail in the garden at the loss of innocence, of the grieving after a remembrance of shared freedom…the embrace of absolute oneness.” –Gilbert Bilezekian (excerpt from the book ‘community 101’).

But along with this cry for intimacy and unconditional acceptance, we also feel a need to ‘do’ something with our life, our time, our talents, our energy. We sense somewhere in the deep recesses of our being that we need purpose, direction & meaning, to contribute our strength and initiative to something. Without it, we lack purpose, and where there is no purpose, the people perish. It seems like, in order to feel like our life has been lived ‘fully’, we require meaning, belief in something, to use our reason & imagination, to contribute… we have dreams, and a sense of destiny, ambition, we require hope, and significance, on top of this need to attach and connect and find intimate relationships to enjoy. It’s built in. Without it, we wind up depressed and floundering about life wondering what it’s all about. If we don’t catch this vision, we end up living some kind of sub-existence. We just go about our every day life with a sense of drudgery or dutiful response to whatever we feel is our cruel task master.

This cry within us, this need for meaning, this loss of paradise, where did it originate? Deep inside, we know it is true. Even if we don’t think we remember what paradise was supposed to look like, our heart speaks of it in short whispers in the night… hunger. Ache. Something’s missing. Can I propose a suggestion here, that maybe, just maybe there is more to life than all of this? That there IS a specific design, task, role, purpose, for each of us here on this earth.

But what IS that design? Might I make a suggestion?

“Then God said, “let us make man in our own image, according to our own likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ And God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. And God blessed them and said to them, ‘be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and rule over…everything that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28”

If I were to continue quoting from my book, I would get into some concepts about what the Bible suggests about the purpose that God created mankind for. But I don’t want to give away too much. For now, I will leave you thinking. About meaning. And Purpose. And design. What are you living for? I would love to hear your comments, thoughts and questions on the subject.

I know many of you that don’t know what you believe about God or christianity have questions. Questions like ‘how do I know what religion is true?’ and even more specific questions and skepticism about the specific beliefs of christianity. I want to engage you on that subject. Stay tuned and ask your questions, tell me your opinions, your beliefs, your thoughts. And read Wednesday’s blog to see if you relate to some of the commonly held issues that people have with the religion of christianity. Looking forward to engaging you on the subject, no matter what your religion or beliefs are! Have a great day!!!

%d bloggers like this: