Those of you you who have been following my blogs will know that on Mondays I blog about the books that I am currently writing, the first of which, is called “Found Wanting”, and on Wednesdays I blog about my life, current events, things I enjoy, or new news on my life coaching business etc, anything that gives the reader a little info about who I am and what I’m about, or current events in my life, and Fridays I blog about life coaching/personal development/relationship and psychology related topics, offering free tips and tools to overcome varying circumstances in life. I am about to start a stress management series this Friday. For those of you who are new to my blog, this will give you an idea of which blogs you prefer most to tune into. I am nearing the end of giving excerpts on this book called ‘Found Wanting’ without giving away the entire book! Lol! I will have 2-3 more excerpts on this book, before I move into blogging about another book I am currently working on!

But for today, let me re-cap what the book Found Wanting is about. The title itself is meant to be a play on words, with two separate meanings. The first half of the book is geared to understanding from a christian perspective, what the ‘fall of man’ was about. How independence and mistrust in the heart of God for us led us into a place of isolation and far from the dependency and trust in His good heart toward us and his character wanting nothing more than to lavish goodness and blessing upon us as children dearly loved by a father God figure. As in earlier blogs I mentioned the community of one-ness between the triune God, Father, son, and Holy spirit, who were involved in a community of one-ness and completeness, and full of love. God IS love. It was within the heart of God to extend that invitation for fellowship and relationship to humankind who he created with this purpose and intent in mind: To love us and allow us to experience the love within the community of the Godhead. It was his desire that we reciprocate this love as well. To receive it, to love God and to love others, created in the image of God that all may know this wonderful love of God. But part of love involved the freedom of choice -free will as we call it, to NOT love. If we are not given the choice to NOT love, or NOT receive love, any relationship is reduced to a servitude or control by force which removes the ability to love freely. The only way love can truly exist is with the freedom to not, so that loving becomes a choice and not merely a dictatorship. But because God had an enemy, an angel of God who fell I his vanity and pride, seeking to be greater than God, but lost the battle and was unable to achieve the greatness he sought after, he forever became intent in hurting the heart of God by attacking those God created in his image (us, humanity) and trying to convince us that God’s character and heart for us was not good. The sad reality is, we bought the lie. We’ve been living with that lie at the core of our being, questioning the goodness of God, looking for answer’s on our own and trusting our own ability and strength, rather than trusting him. We became convinced we must look out for ourselves because who else would? We were introduced to the harsh realities of life, and our experience taught us that what God said was a lie. Where was this goodness he spoke of? If God is a good God, why does he allow evil to triumph and pain to exist? On and on the questions go. And the belief system is rooted ever deeper in our hearts that God must not be good, which develops our alternate belief system: I must look after myself. I must protect myself. I must be in control, the very nature of the enemy of God who sought to be greater than God. Arrogance, pride, independence. I will not discuss these questions all over again, as I have discussed them in previous blogs (on Monday’s), but may open a discussion on some of those questions in July when I am finished giving an overview on this book, prior to getting into my next book I am working on.

My intent for today is to evaluate the second interpretation of the title ‘Found Wanting’, which rather than the first definition to be ‘found wanting’ or ‘lacking’ or deficient’ due to sin, rebellion and independence against the God who both created, loves and pursues us, the second interpretation is meant to explore what happens when we come back to that place of believing, and recognizing that God does, indeed have a good heart for us! When we experience that ‘aha’ moment of revelation, that ‘God moment’ as it were, where he arrests our attention, when he stops us dead in our tracks, when the unseen reality of what is unseen invades the natural and we ‘know’ to the very core of our being that we have just ‘met God.’ There are so many ways in which it happens, it can be simple and tender, it can be a vision that brings the awareness of the divine to life for you, it can be a download of so much information, wisdom and knowledge in an instant where you feel your mind has been expanded and enlightened to receive far more information than you know you could possibly take in in that instant without the divine being responsible for it. It could be your whole life flashing before you in an instant, whilst feeling the presence of angels surrounding you wanting to comfort and minister to you while God himself reveals the pain, the hurt, the wounds, the limiting beliefs you have held onto, while his peace and his presence met over you as he begins a work of healing and restoration to your soul. It is that moment when he shows you where he was when that traumatic experience took place and he reassures you of his unconditional love for you, when he reminds you that no matter what you have done or where you have been, he is with you, and he has always loved you, and reminds you that you were created for a purpose, that your life is not merely an accident, but divinely woven together by god, of immeasurable worth, not worth that is conditional in what you do or don’t, but simply because God loves you and gave you worth no matter what. It is innate, God given, because of his passionate heart for you to love and pursue you with the longing of reciprocal love for Him.

So being ‘found wanting’ in the second definition involves remembering that God loves us, and because he first loved us and we get that taste of this love, we suddenly are beside ourselves, found wanting, as in desiring God in return. Why does this happen? Because of the very nature of love. Love is generous and ever expanding, especially the love that God has for us, the unconditional kind that never changes, never ends, is kind and merciful and gracious, and as a result of believing that Jesus took all of our sin upon himself in our place, knowing that there is therefore no more punishment or consequence for sin, because the son of God, part of the triune God, became flesh, became a man, lived a sinless life, died on a cruel cross taking all the sin of the world with him upon the cross so that we might believe in him. That our doubt of God’s goodness might be replaced with the realization of his love, drawing our hearts back to a desire to love God as he has loved us. But belief is the cure for our unbelief. And believing can be hard, especially when the response is so simple:

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For whoever believes in him shall not be disappointed.” Romans 10:9-11

That’s it? That’s all I have to do? And yet, why is it so hard?

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, so that the requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are of the spirit, the things of the spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so… However, you are not in the flesh but in the spirit, if indeed the spirit of God dwells in you… So then, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to it…but if by the spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body (sin), you will live. For all who are being led by the spirit of Gid, these are sons if Hod. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons!” Romans 8:1-15

In the middle of that last passage the clue to why it is so hard to believe is there in the text. “the mind set in the flesh is HOSTILE to god, it DOES NOT SUBJECT (or submit) to God FOR IT IS NOT EVEN ABLE TO. This is the crux of sin nature: hostility towards God, hardness of heart, unbelief, independence from God. It’s root? Believing a lie that the heart of God is not good for us, Believing that God is not real, or believing he doesn’t care, whatever variation of the lie that you have believed… And what happens over time is a hardening of our hearts. At first or may be felt as a tender moment of “where was God when…” fill in the blanks, perhaps tears where shed… You felt alone, abandoned. You questioned his heart, his goodness… And over time, it became a hardened belief system embedded in your deep inner heart that God doesn’t care. The purpose of God sending his son was to show us in a radical way how much he loves us. Who hasn’t heard of the concept of laying your life down for someone you love? In combat, it is done all the time, one man takes a bullet for his buddy, sparing his friend’s life. In just such a manner, this is what God did…Jesus, referred to as God’s son, fully God, fully perfect, became a man and lived a perfect sinless life, and then took the bullet for us so to speak. All that rebellion against God, all our moves away from his love, Jesus took all of our sin and wrongdoing, our pain, our unbelief and gave us a visual of real love: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” This is exactly what Jesus did to say “I love you. My heart for you has always been good. Return to ,e that I may show you my love, that you may receive my love.”

The response to being really loved… Is to love in return. This is God’s desire. That we may know his love, receive it, love him and pass it on to others that they too may know this great unfailing live of God!

This is what it means to be ‘found wanting’ as in desiring God. If you have ever been in love and ache while apart from the one you love, and long to be in their presence as soon as you possibly can, and take in, saturate, breathe in the pleasurable feeling of being loved, you can relate. This experience is possible with God… To be found desiring the nest moment where you get to enjoy the intoxicating presence of love -perfect love from God, the only kind of love that can bind up all your wounds and bring wholeness to your brokenness, comfort to your mourning, completion to your lack of direction, community to your isolation, and much much more! I want to be found wanting and desiring God forever.

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